My 3yr old boy is always crying and whining? Need advice?
Posted on 28. Jan, 2012 by Toy Expert in Deluxe train set
From the minute he gets out of bed, hes whiny. All day long. I cant stand it anymore. Got any advice? I sent him to bed early to get a break from it.
Whats he whine about? EVERYTHING.
He saw his 10m old sister eating some berries I gave her and blew a hissy fit. He was playing a videogame and lost and threw himself against the walls and floor and then threw the controller. Hes also always hitting other kids. The games I let him play are very preschool, dora, thomas the train, toy story. Its not from those, we play them together. His dad does roughhouse with him, but I dont think its causing the whinyness, but maybe the hitting.
Allanas
28. Jan, 2012
Quit responding to him.
When he whines, say "I don’t understand that noise. You want something, talk like a big boy". Then turn your back and walk away.
When he wants something his sister has, say "If you want berries ask me politely. Talk like a big boy".
Before you allow him to play games, sit him down and tell him that if he throws the controler, screams or whines, game time is over. If he can’t play properly, he won’t play at all.
FOLLOW THROUGH.
The second he whines or throws it, take it. Put him in his room. Tell him he can have another chance later (an hour, the next day – whatever you think is right)
The second he talks properly, bend down, smile into his eyes and tell him how much you like it when he talks like a big boy.
HINT:
This is new to him, so he many not know exactly what to say.
If he doesn’t immediately respond with "big boy talk"…TELL HIM what to say.
Example: The berries.
Say: "If you want berries, ask me politely".
Wait a second – if he doesn’t respond
Say: "Mommy, please may I have some berries".
Make him repeat the words – then give him berries.
Ashley S
28. Jan, 2012
could.be stressed or.feel ed.ignored
Zuzu
28. Jan, 2012
I say, "no one gets anything in our house by whining or crying." And I mean it. And the whining stops and suddenly there’s a nice tone and a please attached and EVERYONE is rewarded and happy. If you’ve been letting this go on for a long time, he might take awhile to break the habit and it might need some help. So model HOW to ask for things successfully, if he’s whining for breakfast, for example, say, "no one gets anything in this house by whining or crying. If you want breakfast, say, ‘mom, may I have some breakfast, please.’" Teach him how to ask appropriately for things and don’t give him things until he asks appropriately. That doesn’t mean starve your child (my guess is that breakfast isn’t what he’s whining for, it was just an example.)
I don’t think roughhousing leads to whining. If he gets that impassioned over the video games, however, I think you need to tell him that he loses the privilege to play when he’s abusive with the toys. Give him ONE warning (I think it’s reasonable to say, when you threw the controller yesterday, that wasn’t an appropriate response to losing the game. It’s okay to be upset, but it’s never okay through throw things. If you throw the controller again, you will lose the privilege to play the game.) If you’re playing together and you’re right there with him, take the controller from his hands if he looks like he’s about to toss it and put the game in an unreachable place for at least a day.
If he’s throwing a fit because his sister is eating berries, tell him that no one gets anything in your house by whining or crying, but if he wants to ask for some berries he can say, "mom, may I have some berries too, please." If he can’t say it after you model it, DO NOT give him berries. He’s three, he’s capable of mimicking you even if he’s not coming up with it on his own. If he keeps crying, get down on his level, look him in the eye, tell him that you’re sorry he’s frustrated, when you don’t get your way you get frustrated too… would he like you to hold him while he’s upset or would he prefer to be alone. If he continues crying for berries, tell him you’d like to give him berries when he asks for them appropriately, without whining or crying.. but if he needs to cry, you’re happy to hold him until he pulls it together. If he says he wants to cry, tell him to let you know when he’s done and ready to talk. (My daughter will literally cry for 15 seconds and say, "okay, I’m done crying now.")
A
28. Jan, 2012
Have you had him checked out by a specialist.
My 3 year old boy did the same, and I just had to take on the ‘tough love’ approach. He also has a sister (10 months younger than him) and they constantly fight for attention. Whenever one is whinging I just say ‘Talk properly, I am not going to listen until you can talk to me in a normal voice’ and it seems to be working.
I don’t know how to fix his crying. Do you know what he cries about? If it’s just to get attention I would be hard on him and threaten to send him to his room if he doesn’t stop.
Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind.
tanner
28. Jan, 2012
Discipline, consequences, and positive attention…plain & simple…that’s what he needs. If he throws a control he doesn’t get to play games the rest of the day. If he throws a fit about wanting something his sister has explain to him how to ask nicely. Perhaps he is in need of attention. Why would you give his sister berries and not him? You may not be aware of it, but I think most of your attention is going to you daughter, and he is being left out. He needs to feel just as important, kids pick up on those things. Make sure you are including him and praising him when he does something helpful and nice.